The Man Who Makes Love To Cars

Edward Smith, a 63-year-old man told a television audience earlier this week that he has made love to over 700 cars in his lifetime. The revelation which sounds really bizarre got the entire airwaves buzzing, with many describing him as a ‘lunatic’. However, Smith disclosed that he has since settled down with the ‘love of his life’ – a Volkswagen Beetle he calls Vanilla.

While ITV’s presenters, Phillip Schofield and Amanda Holden tried to ask probing questions about the details of his sexual history with four wheeled machines, Smith rolled out more of his unimpressive resume. He claimed to have slept with Jaguars, Mustangs, had threesomes in car parks and car showrooms, and has even had brief flings with helicopters and planes.

According to odditycentral.com, Smith began to look at car magazines in the same way some men devoured pornography even as a teenager. He said he lost his virginity to a neighbour’s Volkswagen Beetle at age 14.

“I got tempted one night to step outside to gently caress the car. It did something for me, woke something up inside of me,” he said.

Once this desire had been awakened, he began to seek out cars that he was attracted to. When asked how he makes love to a car, he clarified that he is not attracted to any kind of penetration.

“It’s hugging and holding the shape of the car close to me and talking to it a little bit. The rest is just physical satisfaction. I basically just unzip, I’ve never got naked on a car – in public,” he said.

The 63-year-old did have girlfriends in secondary school and university, and one who he met as an adult living in San Francisco in 1971, although he was never able to consummate the relationship.

“It was not a thoroughly satisfying experience. I never got so involved like my brothers did and spent the night with them,” he said.

But today, his white Volkswagen Vanilla is his girlfriend and the love of his life.

“She certainly has become special. I got her in 1982 so it will be 30 years on December 23rd. I met her when I was involved in a relationship with another Volkswagen Beetle called Victoria.

“Sometimes I say to myself that Edward, in your heart and soul you know that these are cars but when I hold them in my arms I do feel an energy that comes from each one of them. But Vanilla is special. She is my baby. Beyond that, there’s a very deep love that I wouldn’t want anything to separate us after 32 years,” he said.

While he allows mechanics to fix cars, he has a strict rule: he is the only one allowed to wash them.

“I prefer to do that myself. It’s like giving her a bath. I talk to her, play music, suds her all up.”

Culled From PUNCH