Still single? Here’s why…

 

• You play hard to get

Playing hard to get makes it hard to find Mr. /Ms. Right. You need not pretend to be busy when asked out on a date; neither should you feign nonchalance when you really desire that person asking you out. There is a chance that when you change gear, it can be someone who will make you unhappy.

If you have a serious problem with your partner, it is important to bring it up, but try to avoid petty arguments and insults. One nitpick fight is not a big deal, but over time, small backbiting comments can erode the foundation of your relationship.

Serious people who want to be engaged in serious relationships do not play around; they get down to the real deal. No one wants to date someone who is known for hopping into every available bed.

• You still harbour stereotypes

Not all men fear commitment and not every woman is needy. That is not necessarily true. A large percentage of singles is anxious and seeks closeness but worries about love not being reciprocated. Others are avoidant and shun intimacy. People who push others away or have a preconceived idea about intimacy are likely to end up single.

• You still on hold on to the past 

Holding on to an ex or a failed relationship makes it hard to find a new one. For these reasons, you become avoidant and uncomfortable in any relationship — you push others away and compare every new person you meet with your ex. Why not let go?

• You are too rigid 

Already, you have a picture of who your ideal mate should be. Be flexible in your choice, and realistic; you can never get a perfect partner. No one is. Or do you want a relationship like that of the movies? Then, it might take a very long time. Getting stuck on finding all the qualities in your ‘what-I-want’ list is a faster way of remaining single.

• You are scared and insecure

Some people avoid committed relationships because they worry they will become dependent on their mate, or break up rather too soon. It may be one fear or another. The trick is to boldly find someone and work at it.

• You work nights or weekends

Some people who are looking for husbands or wives would not think of you as good material, if you work late nights and on weekends. More importantly, not having the same schedule could be a huge strain on a relationship. It may not be easy to give up your passion or change career for someone, but nights and weekends are when most people are free to spend time together. It could be an expressway to being single.

• You are stuck on ‘e-romance’

Online romances may meet some of your attachment needs, but not in a real way. Meet new prospects and stick to more realistic ways of meeting people.

• You are indecisive

If you are in a relationship but do not know what you want out of it, then you may be single for a long time. Have a mind of your own and take the responsibility of making your own decisions in your relationship. Be clear and certain about what you want and set out to get it.

• You do not believe in yourself

Some people think they simply are not worthy of meeting other people until they lose weight, amass a certain amount of money or achieve something. The key to overcoming this problem is to believe in oneself and love oneself the way one is.

Culled From PUNCH